Crysis
Platform: PC
Publisher: EA
Review Type: Looky
Version: GDC Trailer
When I was a kid, I loved concept cars. With their gull wings and sleek, knife-like shapes they felt like items from the future miraculously reeled into the mundane now. I believed that we'd be seeing these Blade Runner-esque vehicles on the road someday soon and I couldn't wait for that day to come. It never did. Cars stayed ugly, boxy and uncool. They remained, for the most part, uniform because that is what most people want.
I get that same feeling when I see "mindblowing gameplay footage." Every year we see new hyper-real clips depicting guys shooting trees or guys shooting water or guys shooting other guys who are also shooting. But I never get to play these games. I spent $300 upgrading my computer when Half-Life 2 and Doom 3 came out and still found myself wading through molasses-like slow down. I played an hour or so of each game and gave up. I'm not falling for that one again.
So watch this footage of Crysis, the new game from the makers of Far Cry. Check out how cool the trees look when they get mowed down by gunfire. Check out the awesome "volumetric clouds," "realtime ambient maps" and "soft shadows."
Sure, the technology is cool. But I'm not going to let myself get overly excited. Because now I know that games like this -- much like the concept cars I loved as a kid -- are fantasy. They're make believe. This stuff isn't a promise of the future. It's like porn, a tease crafted to make your dick hard And who wants to be the mook who actually thinks he has a shot at fucking a porn star?
Watch the trailer here.
Publisher: EA
Review Type: Looky
Version: GDC Trailer
When I was a kid, I loved concept cars. With their gull wings and sleek, knife-like shapes they felt like items from the future miraculously reeled into the mundane now. I believed that we'd be seeing these Blade Runner-esque vehicles on the road someday soon and I couldn't wait for that day to come. It never did. Cars stayed ugly, boxy and uncool. They remained, for the most part, uniform because that is what most people want.
I get that same feeling when I see "mindblowing gameplay footage." Every year we see new hyper-real clips depicting guys shooting trees or guys shooting water or guys shooting other guys who are also shooting. But I never get to play these games. I spent $300 upgrading my computer when Half-Life 2 and Doom 3 came out and still found myself wading through molasses-like slow down. I played an hour or so of each game and gave up. I'm not falling for that one again.
So watch this footage of Crysis, the new game from the makers of Far Cry. Check out how cool the trees look when they get mowed down by gunfire. Check out the awesome "volumetric clouds," "realtime ambient maps" and "soft shadows."
Sure, the technology is cool. But I'm not going to let myself get overly excited. Because now I know that games like this -- much like the concept cars I loved as a kid -- are fantasy. They're make believe. This stuff isn't a promise of the future. It's like porn, a tease crafted to make your dick hard And who wants to be the mook who actually thinks he has a shot at fucking a porn star?
Watch the trailer here.
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